i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
