Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
