Whod you bang
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
