They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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