speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
