Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
