Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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