Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
