Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
