Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
