He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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