i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
