Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
