I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
