can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
