my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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