Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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