he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
