Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
