she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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