Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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