Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
