the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
