I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
