Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
