yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
