I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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