Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
