The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
