i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
