We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize