Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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