If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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