Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
