i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
