There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
