I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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