all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
