So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I would fuck him just for his dog
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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