if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
