You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Randomize
