He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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