Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize