He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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