the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
