What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
