"it" just moved
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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