I wish i was in the wii world.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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