You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
