i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
