The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
