Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
